Week 2 - Defining my Personal Values

Wowza - even looking at that title is intimidating.  This week's challenge from Deb at Home Life Simplified is to define our top five core values, including ranking them.  What am I about?  What do I stand for?  Shouldn't I be able to answer these questions easily?  As it turns out, maybe not.  Time for a brainstorming session (thank goodness Deb included some prompting questions!)...

(Edited to add: including my entire brainstorming session made this entry FAR too long for anyone to be interested in!  I've pared it down a bit to only include the pieces that ultimately led to my top five.)

What do I like to do?
- Play with Dylan: on the floor building lego, in the dirt collecting rocks, going down the slide at the park, creating with playdoh, anything.  Why...  Because I love him.  I love seeing his face light up.  I love seeing the world through his eyes, where the grey dirty rocks are just as beautiful as diamonds, and the glop of now-brown paint is a gallery-worthy creation. 
- Help others: seems so broad, but it's true.  I seem to gravitate towards jobs/things/people that need my help.  I've been in customer service for sixteen years, for two years I moderated the breastfeeding board of a parenting website (www.babywhispererforums.com) in my spare time, and my friends often choose me to discuss their problems with.  But I enjoy all of it!  Why...  I like the satisfaction I get from helping others - I love making someone's day, helping them solve a problem that they were struggling with, even just being a shoulder to lean on.
Values:  Family, Love, Playfulness, Fun, Support, Nurturing

Who and what inspires me?
- My Dad:  He began his fight against cancer in the summer of 2006, when he felt the first lump.  He was hit with so much, between the cancer (repeated surgeries, radiation treatments, various chemotherapies) and incidental bullsh*t that happened at the same time (being infected with MRSA twice, having to have surgery for an intestinal hernia, an abcess on his back that just wouldn't completely heal) and he never. once. fell to defeat or self-pity.  He worked until they told him that he had to go on long term disability.  He golfed until he couldn't physically do it anymore.  He got down on the floor and played with Dylan every chance he got.  Even towards the end, when the tumour infiltrated his spine and he was in unimaginable pain, he did not give up.  Even when he decided that he was done fighting the cancer it was not a defeat - the fight simply changed to a fight for comfort and dignity.  I am humbled by his strength, his love, his courage in the face of everything he went through.
Values:  Courage, Love, Family, Grace

What do I feel strongly about in life?
- That whatever energy you put out into the world (positive or negative), the world will give back to you over time
Values:  Positivity, Enthusiasm, Love, Compassion, Friendliness

What am I dead set against in life?
- Corruption and abuse of power in any form.  From a dictator commiting crimes against his people, to a police officer using questionable tactics to extort a confession, to a teacher abusing his student, I find it all deplorable.  To me, the crimes themselves are horrific, but when the perpetrator is in a position of trust or authority it adds another dimension that I can't describe. 
Values:  Dependability, Reliability, Trustworthiness, Integrity

The challenge was to pick and rank our top five values.  After this brainstorming (and much more; I've been at this for a few hours now!) here they are:

1. Family (and I include here those friends that have become family): For as long as I can remember, my sister and I were surrounded by the love of our family. Our extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) got together for breakfast every Saturday morning and still do to this day. We took family time seriously, whether it was a week-long camping trip or dinner together on Tuesday night. We always knew that home was a safe place for us. Now that I have my own family I have held onto that value even more strongly, and if I had to choose only one this would be it.

2. Love: I don't really know how to explain this, but I feel like it encompasses everything that I was brainstorming, from my love of playing with Dylan, to my admiration of my dad, even to my personal philosophy of projecting out what you would like in return. I keep coming back to love, because I feel that love is one of my primary motivators and deserves the second spot.

3. Nurturing: From here on the ranking gets a little muddy, but I have done my best. I chose nurturing as my third value because that's what I seem to do in all my relationships. It's easy to see the nurturing quality in parenting, but even in my job I feel like I tend to nurture my associates - I try to assign tasks to their strengths and give them the chance to do things that they enjoy, while ultimately having the goal of getting them ready to move to the next step in their career if they so desire. Even in my friendships I tend to nurture in a compassionate, problem-solving kind of way.

4. Dependability: I pride myself on being a dependable person, both in my personal life and in my career. Although I am most certainly not perfect, my family and friends know that I am always here for them in thought and action. It's also a quality that I seek out and prize in others. I feel like dependability is so much more than simply doing what I say I will - it's a quality that encompasses reliability, integrity, and trustworthiness, and that's why it made my number four spot.

5. Positivity: This goes back to my strong belief that whatever you project into the universe you will get back. I do not think of positivity in a 'if life gives you lemons make lemonade' kind of way - I think that horrible things happen in life and in no way can you put a positive spin on everything. However, I do believe that if you can approach every challenge, every tragedy, every negative event with a positive spirit that adversity becomes easier to manage. For example, I cannot see a positive spin in my dad's passing, but when I look at it and am thankful for the weeks that we had, for the memories, for the fact that he got to make the choice, it brings a warmth to my heart even as it brings tears to my eyes. When I step back and choose to be positive my days are happier and my life is better. That's why positivity rounds out my top five.